Life, it Happens
by lolo907
Summary: Angela Chase grew up moved on found a life of her own. Husband, child and true life. Things change when her husband dies leaving her to raise her daughter. This is them now, living as they both go through changes once again.
1. Chapter 1

AN: I wasn't old enough to understand My So-Called Life when it came out but saw it when I was older and I loved it, still do. Wish there were more shows like these that weren't flashy but had a kind of simplicity that yet spoke so many words. This is a future-fic that I had in mind, don't know when it will be the next time I update (although I should have the first real chapter out soon) but keep on the look out. Same goes to my other stories, I try to update but you know how life is. Enjoy!

Title: Life, it Happens.

Chapter 1: The Adison Household of Two - Introduction.

* * *

My mother always told me how her parents, my grandparents, would sit in bed next to each other and read. Right before they went to bed. Of course this was all told to me cause she tried to do that with me as she put me to sleep but it was said with a sad smile.

"Think of it as mother-daughter bonding time. I can read you can read until one of us yawns so big we now it's time to really tuck in," she said to me as crawled into bed with me, her eyes shining with tears and her quivering smile, desperately trying not to cry.

I was seven at the time and my father's death was still lingering in the dry air that surrounded us. It was my father, Thomas Adison, who read to me as my mother prepared my things for the next day. It was my favorite time of the day as both my parents smiled and laughed as I got ready for bed, as my mom took out my clothes looked over my homework and watched my father read and sometimes sing me to sleep. He owned his own music shop, _Adison Records and Strings_. It was a shop him and his college buddies opened up when I was 5. Three grown men tired of being lawyers and needed real fun, or so they would say. So they opened it up and it was my favorite place in the world.

As I stared at my mom as she laid next to be reading _The New Yorker_ as I pretended to read _Green Eggs and Ham_ I knew she was doing it for me. When I learned about my father's death, I didn't utter a word as I tried to understand what had happened. One minute I'm at the kitchen table eating Spaghettios with my mom, both wondering where my father was. Unanswered phone calls were beginning to put my mother on nerve as she called everyone who might know where he was. Then there was a knock as I was slurping up my food as my mother ran to the door. I continued eating even after I begin to hear my mother cry as what I guessed were the police officers breaking the news to her that my father was hit my drunk driver on his way back from work. She was unconsolable as she gave big inhales as she struggles to breathe and the officers had no choice to help sit her down and I hear my mother in between sobs:

"...my daughter...kitchen..."

I heard footsteps as a tall skinny man with a bump in the middle of his noise pulled the chair out in front of me with a scrape. I stared at his bony fingers with the hairs on his knuckles which led me to count (or attempt to) every hair on his ear, nostrils all the while I continued to eat.

"What's your name?" he asked me.

I looked up from my plate, "Emma Penelope Adison."

"Pretty name," he said with a cough.

"Thanks. What's yours?" I asked with another mouth full.

"Uh Officer Benjamin Banks," he answered as he folded his hands on the table.

"Oh," I continued looking back and forth from him to my plat and distinctly hear my mother asking the other officer to call my grandma Patty. I heard the beeps from the phone as my grandma's tired voice answering and then blocked out the rest. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew what had happened; why exactly my father wasn't home and why Officer Benjamin Banks was sitting in front of me at the moment.

"Officer Benjamin Banks, you want some spaghettios?"

Everything else was a bit of a blur. My mother finally calmed down as my aunt and uncle (my mom's sister and husband) came rushing in. The officers left at one point and I never really left the table until my mother told me it was time for bed.

"Mind if Uncle Brian reads to you?" and I responded with a nod as I took my uncle's hand and led him to my room. I didn't bother changing as I crawled into bed as he pulled the blankets over my little body and he read me my book until I fell asleep.

The next day it seemed everyone was home as my both my grandparents where there along with my mother who's eyes were swollen red along with the purple bags under her eyes that contrasted against her pale skin and dyed honey brown hair. I had walked downstairs on my own as I stood in the kitchen doorway feeling the harsh cold floor sting my bare feet.

My mom looked at me and cleared her throat trying to get rid of the grogginess, "Emma, sweeties, I need to tell you something."

And she broke the news as I sat on her lap and felt her thin weak arms hold me body almost as if she was protecting my from her own words. I hugged her back as my heart broke and cried but not once saying anything. I was mute the rest of the day never leaving my mom's side needing her. Knowing she needed me.

She brought up the idea of us reading next to each other the day after the funeral and I agreed. I think it was cause she wasn't comfortable with taking over my father's role of reading me to sleep. Her idea was helpful cause I needed her next to me as I slept and some mornings I would wake up to see my mother fast asleep next to me.

Now I'm fifteen. Eight years later as I sit next my mother on the couch in our two bedroom apartment, the night before my first day as a sophomore at Liberty High School in Three Rivers, Pennsylvania the hometown where my mother Angela Adison (or as pen name goes Angela Chase). We moved here when I was nine as the memory of my father was everywhere as we lived in Philadelphia and I agreed. It was hard to leave everything behind but it was for the best.

"Oh your Uncle Howard called and said they got the new counter in today," my mom said as she abruptly looked up from her lap top.

"Cherry Red or Midnight Blue?"

My mom smiled, "Cherry Red. Or as he said _electric_ Cherry Red. He says it makes the store look much more sharper or whatever."

"More rock'n'roll?"

My mother gave a snort as laughed, "He did actually say that."

"But the shop doing good"

"It is," she answered with a nod. "_Adison Records and Strings_ is as successful as ever. We got a uh great following uh customers you get the point. I was thinking of going up for a weekend staying with Danielle and Brian check up on things, how about it?"

"Yeah that would be great, I miss them all. I miss the store too!" I said as I looked up from my magazine.

"Me too. But I need to see when exactly and check in with work,"

"Alright sounds good," I smiled as I turned back to my magazine with a smile.

"Wait a minute. Are you reading _Cosmo_?"

I smiled up at my mother, "No..."

"Emma! This is to, to mature!"

"Mom calm down it's just a magazine I'm not about to use the 101 sex tips on my imaginary boyfriend," I laughed.

My mother gaped at me trying to form a sentence. "Rayanne gave you the magazine didn't she? And don't joke you're going to give your poor mother a heart attack."

"Oh mom don't worry. We don't need to have the talk...again. The first time was awkward enough. I am a virgin, no boyfriend so no worries. I'm fifteen that stuff is not going to come up anytime soon."

"It's just that your a sophomore now. And you're beautiful way faster developer than I was at your age and that doesn't help the situation cause when I was your age... they were pressuring times so if you ever feel pressured..."

I hugged my mom as she stopped mid sentenced, appreciating her but at the same time not wanting to get into the sex talk. "Mom I trust you and if I ever need advice on anything I will go to you don't worry."

"How did I ever deserve such a good kid?" She said as she kissed my forehead.

"I love you mom."

"Love you Emma."

"Wait a minute who were you pressured by?" I gasped with a smile.

My mom glared at me as she got up from her seat, "Well look at the time, it's time for bed," she rushed as walked to her room.

"Mom!" I laughed as looked back at her.

"Night honey!" she winked as she closed her door.

My mother was a mystery at times. She told me stories about her teenage years and how they were confusing as hell. She told me about her friends and family and insecurities and her college years and my favorite were the stories of her and my dad. Every now and then she would tell me something (like the pressuring one that just happened) but were so vague and didn't make sense. I've seen pictures of when her hair was dyed _crimson glow_ and her outfits from baggy over-alls to the plaid shirt or floral dress and I could go on. I would ask her about them and she would just smile and say "It was the nineties and I was 15, can you blame?"

My mother was a writer. She went NYU and studied English and Creative Writing. She had a way with words as she expressed herself. Everyone says I get that from her. I wouldn't say I was as articulate as she is but we do share the passion of literature. And writing. And words. she works at a publishing company that she has to commute to back in Philadelphia and does some free-lance stuff for the local paper here.

She did everything she possibly could when my dad died. She sheltered me, possibly to much as times, trying to save me from the world. She was both parents and did her best to put our lives back together after that night, days, weeks...year(s). She still is at times and doing one hell of a job. It took time to heal and maybe it's something you can never really move on from. We are stable who cherish the memory of my father deeply. But it's hard but we got through it.

But I was never able to eat Spaghettios ever again.


	2. A Box Titled High School

AN: The next chapter will be Emma's point of view. I was gonna continue on here but would rather have a fresh chapter with a new narrator. Will admit going to be busy this week but I am working on the next chapter but don't know when it will be up.

Chapter 2: Box Titled High School

Our apartment was perfect for us. It wasn't spectacular or this amazing flat with the vintage feel. It had cream colored walls with this small balcony that you climb through a window to get to. One bathroom, 2 bedrooms with twin size beds instead of a full, your regular closet...nothing over the top.

We had a window right in front of our kitchen sink that let the sun in. It was my favorite part of the apartment; the lights shown in as we sat at the table eating or talking or like just sitting there. Her chopping vegetables and me stirring at the stove: it was just us, finally content after his death.

And our door was this deep teal green with the silver chain at the top which we never really used especially since so many people would just walk in.

Like Rayanne.

"Rayanne! It's like 6:30 in the morning what are you doing here?"

"Morning Angelique! I brought bagels!" my best-friend exclaimed as she held up the brown paper bag.

"Did you break the toaster again?"

Rayanne sighed, "Ok yes I did. It some how accidentally broke because - well there was burnt toast involved and an earring."

I gave a snort as I started the pot of coffee as she sliced the bagels open and popped them into the toaster. "So, " she began as she opened up the fridge getting out whatever she can find for the bagels, "It's the small one's first day of sophomore year! Scared?"

I winced as I clinked the mugs against each other but also because it was true, it was Emma's first day of her sophomore year, and I was nervous. "Honestly, shitless. This is the year that anything can happen; good or bad," I sighed as I sat down at the table facing Rayanne who situated herself on the counter waiting for the bagels.

"A lot can happen this year. I mean look at our sophomore year! I was a drunk dysfunctional as ever. And you were hung up on some guy and making out in the boiler room! Ha ha!" she laughed loudly as I gave her a roll of my eyes.

"We were talking about pressure last night...I told her if she ever feels pressured about anything to come to me."

"You let it slip that you were pressured didn't you?" Rayanne asked as she began to nibble on a bagel.

I sighed, "Yes. Then I totally changed the subject and went to bed."

Rayanne laughed at me as she continued to eat the bagel, chewing here and there with her loud booming laughter filling the kitchen. "Oh man, you totally just made her interested in finind out about her mother's secret life!"

"I do not have a secret life and if it comes down to it I will tell her what happened that year and about him and whoever," I explained as she finally joined me at the table with the bagels.

"Every single detail?" she asked with an arched brow.

I sighed again as I thought it over as I spread the cream cheese over the raisin bagel wondering if I should ever give her, my daughter, the full details of my teen age years. "Bits by bits maybe. Only answer certain things that fit the conversation we may be having."

Rayanne nodded with a swallow and sip, more like a slurp of her coffee, "There's a lot to tell that won't possibly fit into one sit down story time. But she's fifteen! Maybe not everyone fears this age but, I mean I don't have kids but she's a part of me as well and what if she finds herself in the midst of teenage angst, especially the kind we - experienced," Rayanne finished as she dazed out.

Even though I knew she was serious I couldn't help but laugh, "Midst? Really?"

She turned to me and gave me a playful glare, "Watch it Chase."

After that we both couldn't help but laugh again as our inner 15 year old came out again. It was the kind of laughter that I had lost when my husband died. It was months almost until I finally laughed: the one with the snort as my body boomed with laughter and every time that laugh comes out, I cherish it. At first it took time for me to stop feeling guilty for truly laughing, thinking I had betrayed Tom for feeling happy - without him. But I know now he would want that obnoxious and unladylike laugh, even if he wasn't with me physically.

"Don't you think it's a bit to early to be spiking your drinks?" a sarcastic voice asked from the entrance of the kitchen. I looked over to my daughter, and froze. I was the deer caught in headlights as I saw what she was wearing.

"Oh my god! where did you find this?" Rayanne exclaimed as she jumped up from her chair and rushed to Emma.

"A box titled high school," she answered simply, as she let Rayanne spin her around, and I watched the velvet maroon (maybe even burgundy) ends of my old favorite dress of when I was 15, sway around her black stockings that covered her thin legs.

I took in her outfit and fully realized it was my dress. The one dress I wore constantly and I considered to be my fancy dress; you know the one where you would wear to the school dance. "But where did you find it?" I asked, finally out of my surprised shock.

"Oh at the grandparents house. Me and grandma were rummaging through some boxes in the basement and we found the box. It was a bit to long but we fixed it up," she answered casually as she poured herself coffee.

I looked at the dress and realized it was shorter just falling a bit above her knees. I gave a chuckle, "I can't believe she kept it."

"Yup. She said you loved this dress to much so she couldn't give it up. Her exact words were 'Knowing your mother actually liking something at that age, I just had to keep'" she laughed, impersonating my mother.

"Well Patty-Cakes did some good! Look at this thing, it's in perfect condition!" Rayanne gushed as she kept inspecting the dress.

"You don't mid right? I mean I hemmed it and all that so I hope you don't mind," Emma asked as she sat down beginning to eat a bagel herself.

"No, no. I love it actually. It looks good on you. It was just weird, seeing it," I answered her with a smile. "Now I would have worn it with my boots but you give it a twist," I said with a smile as I looked down at her oxford lace up boots she had been obsessed with.

Emma laugh as she extended her legs out and clicked the heels together, "Right! I love these shoes! Mmm, good bagels. Auntie Ray, did you break the toaster again?"

Rayanne gave an exaggerated sigh and a pout, "Not my fault I swear!"

We all laughed as we sat in our sun-li kitchen, content. I watched as Emma and Rayanne continued to playfully bicker. Rayanne, even through the chaos we went through, were still best friends. It took her awhile to really stand stable on her own two feet but she did it. Next thing she had her own boutique filled with the eclectic nit knacks that only Rayanne could pull off. I was there for her when she was at her worst, and she returned the favor when Tom died. Sometimes I feel like she knows everything about me. Haha, she even has her own key to the apartment!

"Mom!" Emma interrupted my thoughts as she waved her hand in front of my face. "Got to get to school."

"Sorry I spaced."

Rayanne finished putting everything back into the fridge as she began to get her coat on, "Believe me kid, your mom having her head in the clouds has been a regular thing."

"Eh she's a writer what do you expect," Emma laughed as she pulled her chestnut hair that got caught under her jacket.

"Thank you for the making fun of Angela moment but come on we got to get a move in!" I said as I led them out the front.

"Alright my girls, I am off, car is this way," Rayanne said as she pointed to the left where her car was parked. "Does the kid need to be picked up after school? Gonna be in the city?"

"Yes I will be home late but Em, you need a ride?" I asked her.

"Nah I'm good. The paper is having it's first meeting to day after school so I gotta stay; maybe catch a ride with Steph, but I will call you auntie Ray, if anything comes up," she said as she kissed Raynnae on the cheek goodbye.

"Please do. Angela drive safe please!" Rayanne said as we kissed each other goodbye as well, a habit that has not been shaken out of us since we were 15.

"I love days like these," my daughter began. "It's not cold but not blazing hot. There's something in the air, like a sweet smell..."

"Well look at the little poet," I joked.

She liked at me and gave a playful eye roll. "Should not be talking!"

We had a routine as we got into the car: Me turning the car on, her turning the radio on, fiddling around until she found the morning talk show host. It was little things like these that were the best and made me realize just how far we had come.

Every time I saw my old high school, I would give the biggest sigh as I remembered what it was like to be a teenager, and now here was my daughter. Deep down inside, I knew she was going to face the same things I did: friendship, love, lust, heartache, betrayal, confusion...

"I'm gonna be fine," she said to me, once again breaking me out of my daze.

I gave a smile, "I know. Have a great first day okay?" I leaned over and hugged her, giving her a quick kiss on the forehead.

"Mom! Not in front of everyone!"

"Ha ha. I see my mom has been telling you to much about me when I was your age." I said as I looked at her amused face.

"I'll see you later mom," and she smiled at me as she gave me one last hug and got out of the car.

I quickly rolled down the window, "And stay away from the boiler room!" I heard her laughter as she continued walking, and I knew I had nothing to worry about.


	3. The Inevitabilities

AN: Here is the third chapter and updated way faster than I thought. Bored at the airport led to this. Next chapter will probably be Emma again.

Chapter 3: The Inevitabilities

High School.

It's a time to experience.

Friendship. Leadership. Failures. Accomplishments. Flirting. Kissing. Love. Lust. Heartbreak...the list can go on forever.

But honestly I don't want any of that. Of course the occasional tear shed is unavoidable but my life is not meant to be drama filled. I've heard snippets of my mother's time here along with her friends. She was rebelling by dying her hair going out and lying to my Grandma Patty. Then there was Auntie Ray, she was open about her issues with alcohol when she was young before I went to Penny Klines's fourteenth birthday party that was in her parent's garage.

"Don't drink, alright kid?" Rayanne told me as she painted my nails a hot pink. "You kids think you're invincible at this age, believe me, I thought the same thing."

The closest thing to alcohol, or what resembled alcohol, were the Root Beer bottles that we were drinking.

However that was the night I was first kissed. It was Nathan Bishop who asked me to slow dance with him. All the lights were turned down low as we awkwardly held each other. His hand kept shaking as he held my waist as we swayed back and forth. He leaned in a kissed me. It was more of a peck I think. It wasn't amazing but I counted it as my first kiss. Supposedly he liked me ever since then but he moved when his parents divorced, going to live with his mom in Maine.

When I told my mom she sat me down and gave me _the talk_. We have a really good relationship and she is someone I lean on the most, but we couldn't avoid the awkwardness. I think she blushed more than I did. I think she was remembering or whatever about her times with the whole first love, kiss, and all those moments. We've never gone into detail about her past relationships, just little comments here and there. Like the one about being _pressured_.

I don't want to be pressured. I just want to go to school, get good grades, hang with my friends. Sure a new love interest wouldn't be awful but I don't want any of that tears and bloodshed drama.

"What are you wearing?" A voice asked as I organized my locker.

"What you don't like?" I smiled, knowing it was Stephanie, my best friend.

"It's vintage of course I like, but it is new to me!" she smiled back as I turned around to look at her as I closed my locker, finally satisfied with the way it was set-up.

"It was my mom's, when she was fifteen. Found it at my grandparents' place," I told her as we walked to our first class.

"I love it! It's different. Definitely something you are not going to be seeing running down these halls. What class do you have right now? Actually what's your schedule?" I handed her my schedule as we walked to the bathroom, which would most likely be jammed with other girls trying to add finishing touches themselves.

Stephanie Valencia had been my best friend since the seventh grade. We had always ran in the same crowd but it was that year in school we became inseparable. We were completely different. I was the more quiet one whereas she was the loud one who always had something to say. She attracted attention a lot as she would ramble on in spanish when she was pissed, leaving me confused. Mom always joked she was my Rayanne but I guess she was right. The good thing was she wasn't drama filled like you would expect her to be. She was serious about school: honor student, devote member of the drama club, school newspaper and her goal was to be school president. She was a handful I will admit but she has my back.

"Ok cool, we have first period, third and fourth. I unfortunately don't have you for math since you had to go and take advanced geometry. The one subject I do not excel in!" she complained as she applied lip gloss on her lips.

"But you still love me."

"Yeah yeah," she said with a smile as I followed her out of the bathroom, leading me to our English class.

"So," she began as we managed our way through the mob of hugging friends, "My goal for this year is to find you a boy toy."

"Oh god," I muttered.

"Emma, come one. It's time to experience love!"

"Just because you've had a boyfriend since you were like four doesn't mean I need one too," I told her, referring to her boyfriend, Luis, who she had been dating since forever.

"Exaggerate much? We have been dating since we were twelve and I don't even think it counted until we were in high school. Believe me what we do now is not what we did back then," she said with a grin.

I cringed as we walked into our classroom, "Oh god please spare me the gory details."

"Emma get your mind out of the gutter, you know it's nothing like _that_!" she said with a roll of her eyes. "But let's get back on track here. You know I could totally set you up with one of Luis's friends from the baseball team."

"No no no. No set ups this year, okay?"

"You can be so boring sometimes!"

"I get it from my mama," I joked as I grabbed a pen and notebook out of my brown tote bag.

"Hey Emma, hey Steph," Melissa Bates greeted us, as she sat down in front of me. she was another good friend, someone you can say was part of my crowd. "So did you two hear how the new teacher is a hottie?"

"Details please," Steph laughed as she leaned forward, ignoring me, shaking my head at her.

"He's from Seattle where he was teaching for like five years but moved here when he heard about the position in English here. According to Sandra Davis, he is a total babe, single and super mysterious," she said, adding a hushed voice at the end.

"How did Sandra Davis already find this out?" I asked her.

"She's the office aid this semester and had to be here super early so she saw him when he clocked in or whatever. And a new junior just transfered and he is gorgeous. And I know this for sure cause I saw him this morning when he left the principal's office. Ladies prepared to be amazed!" She gushed as she laughed.

"How do you know all of this?" Steph asked, amazed.

"It's the big hair, it's full of secrets," I joked.

"Emma!" Melissa laughed, as she pulled her curly black hair into a pony tail.

The final bell rang just as an older man, with short black hair, in a blue collared shirt, with a red tie, jeans and converse shoes walked into the room. If this was the new teacher, Melissa was right, he was gorgeous.

"Wow," I whispered as Melissa turned around and smiled.

He immediately started passing out papers and when I read it, I realized it was an outline for the class.

"Yes I am the new English teacher for you all. Before I introduce myself I will give you a brief story of who I am. I attended Liberty High when I was a teen. Came from a not so stable home. I avoid going home at all costs sometimes and I would find shelter in my car at times. I even wrote a song about her," he said said with a chuckle. "Yes I named her _Red_. I was a slacker, big time. Always cutting school, getting into trouble but it was mostly because I thought I was stupid. I found out I had dyslexia when my english teacher noticed and it was hard as hell. I graduated from high school, not knowing what I wanted to do. Moved around a lot. Finally settled in Seattle where I began to attend a community college and for some reason really fell in love with English, and devoted my life to it.

"It wasn't easy. But I finally got all my degrees and began teaching there in Seattle. I decided to come back and as cheesy it may sound, I wanted to help you guys out. Give back to my alma mater. I consider myself a pretty cool teacher. I'm laid back but don't take advantage of that, that's all I ask. So before I go over the class syllabus, my name is Mr. Catalano. If you want you can all call me Mr. C, which ever you prefer. And actually before we read the syllabus I want to get to know you all. So when I call your name, please stand up, tell me your name, favorite song and a random fact about you. I know I know, ice breakers are the worst but spare with me. I can be horrible with names," he said with a laugh, along with the rest of the class.

"Adison, Emma," he called off a sheet a paper he had in his hands. "Please stand and start us off."

I got up and cleared my throat, "I'm Emma. Umm my favorite song is anything by Kings of Leon, and a random fact about me is...I hate sphagettios."

"Kings of Leon, not bad," he commented as he looked back down at his sheet and continued on calling out names, until he finished with Steph.

"What about you Mr. C?" she asked as she sat down. "Think it's only fair if you answered the questions too."

"Well my name is Jordan Catalano, and no you have to stick to Mr. Catalano or Mr. C. My favorite song is Black my Pearl Jam, yes I am old," he said as the class laughed, as I did as well. "And a random fact about myself is my favorite book is _The Catcher in the Rye_, which just so happens on the course syllabus. Like how I snuck that in there?

"But this semester I've decided to include novels, short stories, poetry that revolves around youth and hopefully material you guys can all relate to. At the end of the year you will write me a paper on any of the novels we have read and no complaining," he joked as everyone whined. "It won't be bad I promise. I'm picking out material that means something to you guys."

He walked to the board as he twirled a black expo marker in his fingers, "Now, can anyone tell me what is a major component in a teenager's life? And don't hold back."

"Drama!" someone yelled from the back.

"Of course, drama. Something a teenager can never escape," he joked as he wrote it on the board.

Of course, I say I want to avoid drama, and it's gonna be a major topic in my english class. And everything Mr. C is writing on the board, is what I listed I wanted to avoid.

"Now as I mentioned before _The Catcher in the Rye_ is going to be a book you are all going to read and it's actually the first book. Can anyone tell me what it's about?" He asked as he began to pass out the books.

"Holden Caulfield is the protagonist, and like the list on the board, it's about rebellion, angst, and teenage emotions. It's told from Caulfied's perspective starting when he's kicked out of his school," I answered his as he placed the book on my desk.

"Ah I see someone is familiar with the book," He said as he smiled down at me as I nodded. "And it's a great book. It was actually banned from schools for the longest time. so let's start reading. So Nick who hates celery, start us off please," he said as he opened up the book and sat on the edge of his desk.

The whole time, he made us laugh and practically everyone participated. He was always saying something smart and deep as he would lean back, as he stroked his chin with his thumb as he closed his eyes. He made the girls swoon and made the guys want to know how to swoon the girls. It was the first day and already he was my favorite teacher.

"Alright everyone make sure to finish reading the first chapter, it was nice meeting you all! Now get out," he laughed as he pointed to the door.

It amazed me how everyone said bye to him, including myself, as everyone chatted excitedly about the class.

"He's beautiful," Steph sighed as she walked next to me.

"And smart and insightful, and yes beautiful," I laughed.

"I should tell Luis to _lean_ more," she joked as she walked into her class as she gave me wink. I continued my walk to my geometry class. This class was only meant for honor students and some juniors. Unlike my mother I loved math, as nerdy as it may sound. It was mostly the fact that there was one right answer. You had to find your way there but it was always one answer.

"Morning Ms. Adison," Ms. Charter greeted me as I walked into the classroom and smiled at the grey haired woman.

"Morning." I sat down by the window letting the sun hit me as I waited for the class to start. Everyone settled down as she introduced the course to us once the bell rang but she looked up as someone came in late.

"Name?" she asked.

"Joseph Strummer," A deep voice answered as he sat down behind.

"Well thank you for joining us Mr. Strummer, please don't make tardiness a habit," she told him as she checked his name down on the class list.

She immediately began the first lesson and I quickly jotted down the notes as I kept up with her. Math was easy for me. everything seemed like a sequence that was never off balance. It kept me in a straight line and never gave me any dramatic bumps in the road.

"Now turn to page 13, and do the practice questions."

"I don't have a book," the deep voice spoke up.

"Please make sure to check one out at the library Mr. Strummer," she said with a sigh. "Ms. Adison, would you be so kind and share your textbook with Mr. Strummer?"

"Sure," I nodded as I turned my desk to face his but had trouble as it was caught in the front desk. I saw his hands grip the desk and move it around with ease. "Thanks," I muttered and looked up at him.

He had slightly wavy hair which looked brown in the sun but I knew it would look jet black. He had green eyes that were outlined by dark bags that showed he had gotten no sleep. I studied his face as fast as possible, noticing every shape. I quickly looked down at my notebook as he caught my eye and pretended to do the first problem.

Focus.

Focus.

Focus.

I briefly looked up only to see him looking back down at me, his stare intense. My stomach jumped as I began to feel nervous.

_Oh shit. _

I jumped when Ms. Charter announced we had homework, plus the practice questions we didn't finish, then I realized it was because the bell rang and all I had done were two problems. I quickly jumped up from the desk which led me to drop the book, along with my pencil.

"Here," the deep voice spoke again, as he bent down to pick up my book and pencil. He gave me my things back, he quickly fixed the desk to its original position as well. "Thanks for letting me share the book."

"Umm, no-no problem," I shakily answered him, as I pulled the strap of my bag onto my shoulder

"Here," he said as he handed me a paper. "I noticed you didn't finish the problems, you can copy mine if you want, need to return the kindness somehow, right?"

I looked down at the piece of binder paper he held out to me. His writing wasn't neat but it wasn't messy. It was in the in-between of legible and sloppy. His fives looked like an S and he never used a line through his sevens like I did.

"See ya around," he mumbled as he gave me a small smile and left the room.

"Bye," I whispered knowing he didn't hear me.

High School.

It takes you by surprise.

You set out guidelines for yourself and on the first day, they're already not working out.

God, I just want to go home and re-evaluate what happened today. Of course Steph had to stay even later than I expected for drama club, and so now I'm waiting for Rayanne to pick me up. Maybe I can convince her to buy be a pint of mint chocolate chip.

"Ride didn't show?"

It was that voice again. I looked to my right to see his worn out black converse standing next to me as he looked down at me as I sat down on the front steps of the entrance to the school.

"Just gave them a late notice; should be here soon. You?"

"I drive," he simply said as he pointed to the black Jeep that was isolated in the parking lot.

"Oh." _Oh_? Really Emma?

"Yeah. I'll see you tomorrow." He said as he began walking down the steps.

I quickly remember I had his paper that I had already finished, mostly because I wanted to stare at his writing. "Wait! I finished the practice problems," I told him as he stopped walking and turned back to look at me as I opened up my bag and pulled out the piece of paper and handed it to him. "Thanks again."

"No biggie," he nodded as he walked to his car, leaving me standing there staring.

"Kid!" Someone shouted along with a honk, knowing it was Rayanne. I walked over to her navy blue volkswagon and got it. "What's got you dazing?"

"Nothing, just deep thinking," I said with a small laugh.

"You Adisons and deep thinking," she muttered. "Well I'm starving, chinese?"

"With a side of mint-chocolate chip?"

"Duh." She smiled as she drove away from school.

From the corner of my eye, I saw him finally reach his car, get in and drive away. Deep down I was freaking out. Joseph Strummer had made my mind hazy and jumbled. And I hated it.


	4. Dry Throat

AN: I will admit this was rushed. I was lagging it and kinda wanted to be done with this chapter. Next will be Angela again, and from there I will explore other characters. Thanks for reading!

Chapter 4: Dry Throat

* * *

The eyes were a deep green. Forest green. And even when the sun or some bright light shines in them, they still remain that deep forest green.

The black hair was wavy as it was pushed back sometimes with gel other times in its natural shape. I was still debating if the brown was better. It was once a light chocolate brown when Ms. Charter had all the blinds open in the room as we did our practice problems and the black hair disappeared as the brown shade shined back at me.

The nose was slightly pointed. Not the kind that looks like it could poke your eye out but it was slightly slender but the nostrils gave it shape as they flared out just a bit.

And the lips.

They were beautiful. His lips were a shade of pink that wasn't necessarily pink but it wasn't a peach color either. But it was _the_ perfect color. And first you couldn't notice but if you look closely he had a scar that ran right along his lower lip on the left side. It was small but it was a deep scar; a type of scar that you knew had a story. Most likely not a happy one.

I studied every inch of his face. From his bone structure to the way his eyebrows came together whenever he squints.

God, I sound pathetic...that and I sound like a stalker.

It's been almost a month now since I've been in school. Everything is good. Except for the constant distractions in geometry whenever I see him, which is everyday because we made it a habit to be partners. The only thing I knew about him was he was really good in math. Our conversations never really went beyond that. Until today.

"Adison Records and Strings," he read off my black t-shirt that I wore that day. It was my favorite t-shirts, something that held my father's memory. "Adison? This is you." he said with a grin.

I gave a nervous chuckle, "My father owned it, along with some of his buddies. You been here before?"

"There was like a whole week I basically lived there! Went there everyday, checking through the records and CDs, spending money I had and didn't have," he laughed as he smiled.

It made my throat go dry.

"So does your dad commute or whatever? I don't remember ever seeing him."

"Oh, um, it's actually just run by Howard and Luke now. My, uh, father passed away when I was seven. He helped open it up and keep it running but it's them two now. They kept the name though," I looked up from my textbook, realizing I was rambling.

"That blows," he simply said as he looked at me. For once, when someone found out about my father, he didn't show any pity. "So you live with your mom?"

"Yeah. We lived in Philadelphia but moved here, which is where my mom grew up. It was a fresh start and easier for my mom since her parents are here and her best friend, so they were all able to help."

He nodded as he quickly looked down as his notebook and finished up a problem. I wasn't sure if he was going to respond so I slightly hesitated as I looked at my own work, looking up slightly hoping he would look at me. Talk to me. Really notice me.

"So, are you coming tonight? To the Back to School Night thing? Mr. Catalano asked me to help out in his classroom, so I'm stuck here until tonight." he told me as he finally looked at me again.

"I am actually. I signed up to help set up and welcome parents. Probably tag along with my mom. How are you liking Mr. C's class?" I asked him.

He smiled as he gave a quick glance out the window, "It's my favorite class actually. It isn't easy, since it's an honors class but it's different. Mr. C has been really cool. He's been more than a teacher you know what I mean?"

He looked me straight in the eye and all I could muster up was a nod.

"I'm just gonna help answer questions, explain certain assignments to the parents basically make him look good," he laughed as he closed his books.

"I think every student is bragging to their parents about how good of a teacher he is, he has nothing to worry about."

"See that's what I told him but he's actually a pretty modest guy. I've talked to him outside of class and he's just a cool guy. He's real. I heard the sophomore class were working on short stories. That's pretty cool."

"Yeah it is. I have no idea what I'm going to come up with but it's exciting when a teacher actually gives you some freedom in your writing."

Just then the bell rang and like other times when Joseph would just give me a quick bye and a nod, I was expecting it. Preparing myself for seeing him go. But it never came.

"So what class do you have next?" he asked me as he gathered his stuff, turned my desk around and waited as I put everything away. I finally began to walk towards the door and noticed how he followed me.

"I have biology, you?" I asked him as we walked side by side down the busy hall.

"I actually have english right now but I gotta get to my locker," he said as he stopped walking and pointed to the adjacent hall. "I'll probably see you later on tonight."

"Yeah, see you then," and I watched him walk away. It was always me, watching him walk away. For once I wish he would stare at my retreating back as I walked away. But I highly doubt he's a stalker like me. Finally making it to bio my throat was dry once again. I pulled my water bottle out. Ever since him, I had to carry one around with me because my throat would always dry.

No one knew about my obsession with Joseph Strummer. Not my mother, or Stephanie. No one. It wasn't that I was embarrassed - actually that's a lie. It's embarrassing that I act like this. I only ever see him in Geometry and yet for that one hour or so, I have turned into this love sick puppy. I can't tell anyone. Then I would have to give the details of how he makes me feel, which is basically like a mess.

From the nods because he makes my throat go dry and me constantly staring, it would be endless teases.

"Emma!"

I was awoken from my thoughts as I felt a slap on my shoulder as Stephanie screeched my name.

"What was that for!" I asked her, perplexed, as I rubbed by shoulder.

"You have not been mentally present this whole day! As you best friend, I am being ignored," she whined as she sat next to me in the cafeteria.

_How the hell did I even get here? Really am spacing out. _

I gave her a smile, "Sorry Steph, I have been a bit off today."

"Are you alright?" she asked with a frown. "Have you been thinking about your dad?"

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. She was my best friend and I knew she was just looking out for me but I hated when people assumed I was in a sour mood because of my father's death. I think I just hate that they always bring it up.

"No just out of it. I blame my hunger for this _chili surprise_," I joked as I gestured to my food.

"Yes I hate myself for not bringing my lunch," she cringed as she poked around at her chili that looked suspiciously a bit to lumpy.

* * *

I pulled out my phone and quickly texted someone who I knew would bring me food after school because I could barely eat this _food_.

"Who are you texting," she asked as she forcefully swallowed her food.

"Rayanne. I am asking her to bring me chinese or something so we won't faint tonight," I said with a smile as I hit send.

"Bless you," Steph said with a mouthful.

I heard a buzz as my phone vibrated against the table and saw it was Rayanne.

_Sure kid! meet me out front at 3. Let me guess, Chili Surprise?_

I smiled as I quickly replied back. I nibbled a my bread roll, hoping it would be 3 already so I could eat some real food.

* * *

"Alright I will meet you in a bit, I got to meet Rayanne," I told Steph as I quickly walked out of the school, desperately wanting food, but noticed she still wasn't here.

"Not staying tonight?"

"Hi, Mr. C. I am I'm just waiting for my aunt to drop off some food for me," I told him as I saw him walk up the aproach the steps to the school entrance.

"Ah, same here," he gestured to his brown bag with take out food. "Gotta eat before the parents get here. Are your parents coming tonight?"

"My mom is."

"Well make sure you stop by my classroom if you have time tonight. I need more kids to speak to parents and your latest assignment was really good, so I gotta show off how well I am teaching," he joked.

I laughed, "Don't worry Mr. C, you will do fine without me, but I will."

"Thank y-"

He was interrupted as Auntie Ray honked multiple times as she pulled up to the curb.

"See your food has arrived so, I'll see you later Emma." He said as I told him bye and he walked up to the school.

"Hey auntie Ray," I greeted her as I leaned into the window she rolled down.

"Hey kid," she sighed as she handed me the food. "So, um, who was that?"

"Oh, Mr. C, he's my English teacher," I told her as I inhaled the delicious food.

"Mr. C? He got a full name? He was kinda cute," she replied, but I noticed her smile seemed forced.

"Mr. Catalano. He actually graduated from here, did you know him?"

"Somewhat, you know through the rumor mill, but gotta hit the road kid, so I will see you later?"

"Bye, thanks again!" I told her and watched as she left, speeding away.

I quickly made my way back into the school and out into the school courtyard where Steph waited for the food. We quickly ate and went straight to the gym to the auditorium to set up. Laid out tables. Hung up welcome signs. And set up our table for the school newspaper.

This is how I was different from my mother. I loved this. Staying after school and helping out. I loved being on the school paper. I had to put on a smile for parents and gush about the extracurricular activities are school has to offer. My mom says I'm a people person. I actually like being around people. And I guess that's true. She always says I was like her friend, Sharon, but less peppy and giddy.

"Hey Peter," I tapped Peter Cain's shoulder as he added more issues of our paper to the table. "Can you take over? I'm going to go help out in Mr. C's class."

"Sure, no problem," he nodded and greeted another family.

"Hey!"

As I turned down the hall that led to the classroom, Joseph walked out of the bathroom and began walking with me.

"Hey," I smiled at him.

"Where are you off to?"

"Mr. C's class. He asked if I could stop by and help a bit."

"Cool. I read your assignment on Salinger. It was good, really good," he told as he walked along my side.

"Thanks. So is your work out on display? Will I be able to see your work other than geometry?" I can't believe I'm actually talking in sentences.

"Go for it. But be ready to be impressed," he smirked.

I gave a small chuckle and cleared my throat. My dry throat.

As we entered the classroom I noticed how many people were enthusiastically speaking with Mr. Catalano. He looked over and smiled, "Emma thanks for coming. Joe can you show her the ropes."

Joe.

God, even he made that name sound sexy. Listen to me, when do I ever say _sexy_?

I began helping him out and I looked over to the door and saw a woman pacing, almost as if she was scared to enter...no way!

"Mom!"

The woman who had been pacing at the door looked up to me and smiled, as she entered the room. Except this woman no longer had the light brown dyed hair but it was a red color. It blended in with her pale skin perfectly as it curled at the end right above her shoulders.

"Hey Emma, honey," she smile as she kissed me on the forehead, but I just stood there in shock that this was my mother.

"What did you do to your hair? Red, really?"

"It's not red, it's Summer Berry," she replied as she pulled her hair back behind her ears, a habit she does when she is nervous.

"Angela Chase?"

We both turned to see Mr. Catalano standing behind in front of us, gaping at my mother. I was confused, wondering, and only coming up with the conclusion, that he knew my mother through the paper. There was no way they knew each other.

"Hi, Jordan," she whispered as she once again pulled her hair behind her ears. She smiled but then cleared her throat as she started to cough. "Sorry, dry throat."

Dry throat. Yeah, there was history here.


	5. Always Go Back to Red

**Chapter 5: ****Always Go Back to Red**

* * *

It's been a long day. And right now this couch, my ivory couch with the recliners, feel like paradise. I have Emma's Back to School night later on and I'm already exhausted. Today I've been in Philadelphia since early morning, around 7, even had to have Rayanne take Emma to school. It's been constant editing along with my own book.

No, my own novel.

I have to smile thinking just how far I am getting. Me, an author! Sure nothing has been set in stone yet but I'm working on my stories getting published. God, that's crazy.

But right now I just need sleep. A little nap. To finally calm my nerves and in some much need beauty sleep. Slower breaths, good sign, almost asleep...

"Angela!" is shrieked throughout the apartment along with my front door slamming as Rayanne rushes in. It's times like these I wonder why I ever gave her a key.

"Angela! I have major news, like this effects you. Deeply," she said, out of breath as she sat on my brown coffee table that was set up in front of the couch.

With my eyes still closed I replied, "What is it?"

"Jordan Catalano is Emma's english teacher."

"What!" I sprung up from the couch as I sat up and looked at Rayanne. From her serious face I knew she wasn't joking.

"Yes. I dropped off some food for her like thirty minutes ago and I saw him. On the steps of the school and I asked her who is that and he is Mr. C aka Mr. Catalano, her english teacher. And no this is not some other Jordan Catalano because she even said that he told her he used to go to school at Liberty High," she told me as I was about to object.

"Oh lord," I mumbled as I leaned back into my sofa.

"How do you not know this already? This is her english teacher and she's always blabbing on and on about his class!"

I sighed, "Well I don't know. It was always Mr. C and I've never heard her say his full name. I'm exhausted as it is, now I have to deal with this."

I may be exaggerating. But Jordan Catalano was that boyfriend, that is on the list with those other boyfriends that knew you, inside and out. There was him, then Alexander Crop during my sophomore year until the second semester of my junior year at NYU. When I went back to graduate school I met Samuel Thornton who I dated for a year. Then finally during my senior year I met Tom, and from there the list stopped. There was dating in between but those were the ones I gave my all too. And Jordan Catalano, he had everything.

_Everything_.

Yes, I had sex with Jordan Catalano when I was seventeen. That's what I meant by everything. He was my first real deep relationship. The one with love, and tears, and passion and fights and yes lust. It was during the time we were officially on. Had been going strong for a long time. My parents were away, Danielle was on her school camping trip so it left me alone in my house; that is until he came over and stayed the whole weekend.

There is no way I would ever compare what I had with him, with what I had with Tom. Tom was my life, my love, my all. And if I would to meet Tom in the future if we had never married, I would have the same reaction I am having now.

I felt Rayanne sit next to me and mimicked the way I was sitting, "Rayanne, am I freaking out for no reason?"

"No your not. Because when you see him you are gonna have the most awkward conversation with him. And it doesn't help that Catalano is like mute at times and then your probably going to be rambling on and on," she said and began to laugh.

I scoffed at her, "Rayanne! This is not the time to laugh! And I don't ramble okay, I just fill in the blanks when there is no one talking because most likely he's going to be giving me one word answers and nods and just going to stand there and like change the subject like he always did and then leave me there standing completely, completely..."

I never did finish my sentence as Rayanne began to laugh even harder and I couldn't help but join in because she was right. Everything she described was going to happen, I mean I was already rambling.

"Chase, you just got to stay calm and talk to him like he is your daughter's teacher not someone who has seen you naked," she managed to get out as she once began to laugh which I did as well.

I finally calmed down and wiped away tears the formed from laughing so hard, "I can do this. Just be cool and not freak."

"Yes my Angelique, you can do this," she encouraged me as she grasped my head and kissed my forehead. "Is that a white hair I see!"

I felt a tug at my roots as she pulled out a stand of my hair, "Ow! Rayanne!"

"Oh don't be a baby! Look at this! Angela you cannot meet an ex-boyfriend with white hairs!" she exclaimed as she showed me the white hair that had formed in my head. "I have a brilliant idea!

"Ok see now you are putting to much thought into meeting him; and my hair is fine, don't freak me out!" I told her.

Rayanne looked at me and I saw the 15 year-old girl again. The one whose hair went everywhere as she fixed it up with braids and scrunchies and lord knows what else. But she looked me in the eye and smiled and I couldn't help but smile back.

"Even if you were not going to see Catalano we still gotta do something about this hair! Angela, your grey hairs, a sign of oldness," she giggled, "is holding you back!"

"Why do I feel 15 again?" I asked as I couldn't hold back the huge smile I know possessed on my face.

"Come on! Let's go buy the dye before it gets late!" she exclaimed as she jumped up and ran to the door, with me following her, not hesitating at all.

* * *

"Rayanne! The water is cold now!" I shouted at her after she tried to change the temperature of the water. My head was under the faucet as my body was bent over my bathtub. Through my squinted eyes, I could see small streams of the dye swirl down into the drain. Even though my hair was wet, the light from my bathroom ceiling could show me the strands of red hair that now replaced my brown (and greying) hair.

"Whoops," she joked as she turned it off and handed me a towel. "Here you go. Now blow dry!"

I dried my hair at the tips with the towel then got out my blow dryer. From the corner of my eye I could see Rayanne animately talking on the phone.

"Ricky! Guess what!" she practically screamed into the the small device. "Angela dyed her hair! Yes, red again!"

"It's not red, it's Summer Berry!" I yelled out as I continued to fully dry my hair.

"Summer Berry! No not Crimson Glow; I think they discontinued it," Rayanne laughed. "Hold on let me put you on speaker."

"Angela did you hit a midlife crisis? You always do red when something's up,"Ricky asked.

I chuckled, "No Ricky just a lot of white hairs."

"And Jordan Catalano!" Rayanne exclaimed.

"Rayanne!"

"What!" Ricky exclaimed. "Are you going on a date with Jordan Catalano?"

"No Ricky-"

"Are you gonna sleep with him?"

"Ricky!"

"Again? Angela how did this happen? When did it happen?"

"Ok Ricky stop!" I looked over at Rayanne who was laughing and had sat down on the tub to control herself. "You are not helping Rayanne!

And Ricky no I am not going on a date with Jordan Catalano nor am I going to sleep with him. I dyed my hair cause I had white hairs it just so happened that I chose a red."

"So why was Jordan Catalano brought up?" he asked.

"Because he is Emma's english teacher and tonight is Back to School night!" Rayanne piped in.

"Yes he is Emma's teacher and yes I am going to have to see him and speak to him after many years; so please I'm already nervous as it is don't make it worse," I admitted to them.

"Angela, sweetie, this is gonna end up with you sleeping with him," Ricky chuckled over the phone which caused Rayanne to start laughing again and Ricky joining in.

"I'm walking away now," I muttered as I glared at Rayanne. I continued to my room to get dressed and recited in my mind:

_I will not sleep with Jordan Catalano. I will not sleep with Jordan Catalano. _

"I will not sleep with Jordan Catalano," I told myself as I looked at my reflection in my mirror.

"You sure about that?" Rayanne asked as she walked over to my bed and sat down.

"No I'm not. I don't even know why that thought is running through my mind. All he is going to be to me is my daughter's teacher," I turned to look at her.

"Angela," she sighed and walked towards me, "You do not have to feel guilty about thinking that there could be a possibility of you sleeping with someone; even dating someone."

"There is just to much pressure on this right now. This whole situation has been blown out of proportion," I told her.

"I'm sorry about the teasing but I am here reminding you that it's okay if you feel this way. And not just because it's Jordan Catalano but it could be with any guy. It's been eight years and I know you have moved on but sometimes _you_ need to tell yourself that. He would want you to be happy," she finished as she rubbed my arm soothingly.

"I know," I whispered and gave her a small smile.

"Alright then. Now you need to get dressed cause going in this stained shirt is so not gonna impress your ex-boyfriend," she smiled at me as she went into my closet and pulled out some clothes for me.

I have dated before. After Tom's death. It was two dates and I slept with him. I left that night crying because I had felt so guilty. Emma was staying with my parents for the night so I went to Rayanne who told me over and over that I had done nothing wrong. It's been difficult for me to date and it was such a rare occurrence when I announced if I was going out with someone.

"Ok we need something that will make your new fabulous hair pop!" Rayanne smiled as she took out an outfit for me. "Now I was trying to find something plaid but no luck; so I went with the chic white sleeveless blouse with the not so obnoxious ruffles going down the middle and black pants, not to tight but honey you will have an existing butt tonight!"

I stood in front of the mirror as she held the clothes in front of me. "Thank you Rayanne."

she smiled at me and winked, "No problemo Angelique. Now get a move on."

* * *

The horn on my car made me jump as my forehead accidentally hit it. I was in my car sitting in the parking lot of the school, going on ten minutes trying to calm myself down. I had finally left the apartment with Rayanne forcing me into my car.

I can do this.

"You can do this," I whisper to myself as I let out a long breath, grab my coat and purse. "Angela, you are not fifteen you are a grown woman. You have seen this man naked, he cannot make you feel naked. Oh nakedness..."

"Hey there Angela! How you doing?"

I look to my as I come out of my car and see Diane and Kevin Reid, fellow parents. "Hey Diane, Kevin. I'm doing good," I smile as I walk with them into the school.

Oh please god, don't tell me they heard me say naked. As I walk into the gym and hand my coat into the coat check I can't help but reminisce. Nothing has changed and I can't help but smile. For some reason I feel ready.

I walk straight to his room. Skip the other classes I know would be better to visit first but I can't back down now. Yes, I once loved this man. A lot. To the point where it consumed me but I consumed him just as much. I have the power too.

I don't even know how I ended up outside of his class until I hear Emma call me. I try to ignore the look she gives me as I give her a kiss on the forehead.

"It's not red, it's Summer Berry," I tell her, happy she doesn't use Crimson glow.

"Angela Chase?"

This is it. I'm about to face Jordan Catalano after years of not seeing him. My first love. And even though I haven't turned around to see him, my stomach is already feeling funny.

Me and Emma both turn around and I say hi to him; but it comes out as a whisper. He looks the same; he's aged but he looks the same. I try to take him in as fast as I can and I feel myself push my hair behind my ear. I desperately want to say something witty because it just seems appropriate, for some reason. But all I can do is cough this horrible dry cough. Right then I know I have revealed just how nervous I am.

"Sorry, dry throat."

"Hi Chase," he smiles and I smile back.

"Um mom," Emma finally speaks. "This is Mr. Catalano, my english teacher; Mr. C, this is my mom, Angela Chase, but I've kinda guessed that there doesn't need to be an introduction."

She's to smart for her own good and I'm already preparing myself for her interrogation later. We fall silent again and I know I should break the silence. "Nice classroom. Its, um, neat. I mean not the neat where it's cool but I mean neat, very organized," I stupidly tell him.

"I'm gonna go re-stock the refreshments,"Emma says as she quickly leaves and I don't blame her.

"Ok honey. That's my daughter," I tell him with a chuckle.

He laughs as he puts his hands into the pockets of his jeans, and looks down at his feet. "So, who would have thought that this would ever happen?" he says as he looks up again at me.

"Certainly not me. Rayanne actually told me you were Emma's teacher," I tell him as I try not to break eye contact.

"Ah, so that was Rayanne. I don't know how I didn't figure it our sooner. She looks like you. She's a great kid by the way; intelligent," he compliments.

"Well she is my kid," I laugh. "So, Jordan, I mean Mr. Catalano, tell me about your class?" I ask him and gesture around the room.

He gives me a small laugh and shakes his head a bit and begins to explain the structure of how he conducts his lessons. He sounds to passionate and smart as he explains everything. Not many people knew just how wonderful he was with words.

"How are you Chase?"

He brings me out of my thoughts as he faces me again. "I'm good. Working and mothering but no complaints."

"I'm happy to hear that," He's interrupted as one of the students calls his name. "Duty calls. But take a look around, one of Emma's essays is up, if you have any questions feel free to ask, me or one of the kids."

"Ok," I tell him as he begins to walk away.

I made it through my encounter with Jordan Catalano. A few awkward pauses here and there but I made it. And now I had to get out.

"Hey Em's, I'm going to finish my rounds meet you back in the gym alright," I tell her when I find her talking to a group of parents.

"Sure thing mom."

I glance around the room once again, my eyes landing on Jordan's back as he concentrates one of his student's parents who are smiling widely to him. He has won everyone over; just like he always did. Not everyone used to approve of him but he always intrigued people. From the way he leaned to the way he would put a cigarette to his mouth, he always drew attention.

I can't help but smile as I begin to leave the room but his voice interrupts me.

"Angela."

I can't find my voice as he comes to stand in front of me.

He gives me one of his infamous Jordan Catalano grins. The ones the would only be shown to me as we would sit in his car, laying some where together and I push my hair behind my ears again.

"Don't be a stranger Red."

_Red_

_Red_

_Red_

It sends a shiver down my spine. No one knows just how intimate of a word it is to me. To us. It was the cheesiest nickname someone could ever give someone but that's what he called me. Only when it was just me and him. No one knows; not even Rayanne. No one knows he would sweetly call me that when we were together as he would tuck strands of my hair back with his gentle rough hands right before he would kiss me.

_Compose yourself Angela. _

I try to conjure up the most platonic smile I can, "Ditto Mr. C."

He laughs as he gives me a small wave and turns around. I watch him walk away and quickly leave. Our little exchange literally happened in about six seconds but it felt like forever.

* * *

"Night sweetie," I tell Emma as she gives me a peck on the cheek before she goes to her room. I am so thankful that she is exhausted because my mind still feels fuzzy from seeing Jordan. I know it's going to be brought up but I'm glad it's not tonight.

I don't know what possesses me but I find my self connecting my ipod my stereo and turning the volume down to not wake Emma up. I find the song.

"_...Sheets of empty canvas..."_

I softly sing along as I look myself in the mirror. I am transported back into my old room, and I'm wearing a flannel oversized shirt that covers the black tee underneath and I'm still singing.

I am fifteen again. Sixteen. Seventeen.

With red hair again.

And I'm loving every second of it.

* * *

NOTE: It's been years; it feels like years. Excuse the long wait. Don't know when I will update again. Soon hopefully.


End file.
